FAST Way to Get Your Ex Back
The FAST Way to Get Your Ex Back
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Get Your Ex Back - How to Contact After a Break Up
So why is my ex still contacting me now, you may ask?
Phone calls… text messages… these things were part of your daily life while you were dating your ex.
But what if they are still calling and texting you after the breakup?
And what if they were the one who initiated the breakup in the first place?
Does it mean your ex still loves you? Does she/he want you back? Or are they really just texting you to say hello, or calling you to see what’s up?
Well, in all honesty you’d be pretty naive to think all this contact means nothing. A girl or guy who broke up with you totally wouldn’t want much to do with you afterward. The fact that this person is still keeping in touch, even after breaking up, actually means something pretty important.
Understand something: a person dumps you for very specific reasons. Most of the time, these reasons include a desire to go on without you. Yet here, your ex is still trying to keep the lines of communication open. By text-messaging, emailing, or calling you on the phone, your ex is actually saying “Don’t go away just yet”.
Is your ex ready to get back together right now, at this very moment? Probably not. But simultaneously, they are also not ready to lose you. Your ex would much rather you stick around for a while, even through something as tenuous as texting and emailing, while they decide if they really want the breakup to ‘stick’.
Another approach he/she might take? The “let’s be friends” approach. This happens when your ex breaks up with you but pretends like they’d still like to stay friends with you. And I use the word ‘pretend’ intentionally here, because the last thing your ex really needs is THEIR ex for a friend. What does your ex really want? A crutch to lean on. A safety net, just in case she/he wants you back.
If your ex still calls and texts you, it’s because they are looking to keep you available. They might ultimately want to undo or reverse the breakup, but until that moment comes, they want to know you’re still there.
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Monday, November 7, 2011
Do Rebound Relationships Work Out?
Okay so in this post we are going to talk about something you may be thinking of doing, or already doing, after your breakup. I am going to tell you right now...
It is better to avoid rebounds if you can.
It is better to avoid rebounds if you can.
(When I say rebound relationship, I mean getting seriously involved with someone who isn't your ex. Casually spending time together or non-serious dates - as long as the other person knows what they are - are okay.)
What is a rebound relationship? Basically this right after you've broken up with someone, you haven't even taken time to assess what went wrong, haven't had time to heal, etc.
What is a rebound relationship? Basically this right after you've broken up with someone, you haven't even taken time to assess what went wrong, haven't had time to heal, etc.
Click here to find out what to do next to get your ex back
But right away you're ready to jump into a new relationship with another person. You might even marry that person. Bad, bad idea. Why? Because you have never even dealt with the initial relationship. You are just moving on to someone else.
And I can guarantee you that no matter what, or at least in about 99% of circumstances, you are going to move on to the EXACT same type of person, the EXACT same type of problems, in most cases.
Either that or you will just move on to someone who is just so not right, you know it, it's so not a good thing.
But all your feelings of loneliness and depression, you don't acknowledge them. And those are the real problem.
That is why about 99% of rebound relationships do not work. And so what happens is that you get two failed relationships, once the rebound doesn't work, and then you have to deal with that. So it's like a double dose of awfulness in your life. Do you really want that?
It just compounds the pain of the breakup twice over.
So ultimately it's better just to deal with the breakup, and then when you're over the situation, you can start dating again.
How can you do this? Easy, go no contact for 30 days or more. Just cease talking to your ex, stop thinking about them, get them out of your head. If you aren't thinking about them you aren't going to stress about them.
Just distract yourself. But NOT with a rebound relationship.
Get rid of all your ex's books and CDs and things you have lying around that remind you of them. Pictures, clothing, anything you have that reminds you of that person that is in your apartment or your home.
Pack them away for now. Maybe you don't have to do it forever. Just get rid of them for now. Out of sight, out of mind. You will get over them much more easily if they're not in your mind.
It doesn't mean you need to cut them out of every photograph and set it on fire in the backyard. Just get the reminders of them gone from your immediate consciousness.
But right away you're ready to jump into a new relationship with another person. You might even marry that person. Bad, bad idea. Why? Because you have never even dealt with the initial relationship. You are just moving on to someone else.
And I can guarantee you that no matter what, or at least in about 99% of circumstances, you are going to move on to the EXACT same type of person, the EXACT same type of problems, in most cases.
Either that or you will just move on to someone who is just so not right, you know it, it's so not a good thing.
But all your feelings of loneliness and depression, you don't acknowledge them. And those are the real problem.
That is why about 99% of rebound relationships do not work. And so what happens is that you get two failed relationships, once the rebound doesn't work, and then you have to deal with that. So it's like a double dose of awfulness in your life. Do you really want that?
It just compounds the pain of the breakup twice over.
So ultimately it's better just to deal with the breakup, and then when you're over the situation, you can start dating again.
How can you do this? Easy, go no contact for 30 days or more. Just cease talking to your ex, stop thinking about them, get them out of your head. If you aren't thinking about them you aren't going to stress about them.
Just distract yourself. But NOT with a rebound relationship.
Get rid of all your ex's books and CDs and things you have lying around that remind you of them. Pictures, clothing, anything you have that reminds you of that person that is in your apartment or your home.
Pack them away for now. Maybe you don't have to do it forever. Just get rid of them for now. Out of sight, out of mind. You will get over them much more easily if they're not in your mind.
It doesn't mean you need to cut them out of every photograph and set it on fire in the backyard. Just get the reminders of them gone from your immediate consciousness.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
I Can't Stop Looking at My Phone After The Breakup - 3 Powerful Tricks To Kill the Pain and Get Him Back
Are you checking your phone every five minutes after the breakup? If so, you're falling prey to an unfortunate circumstance of the post-breakup haze that we all go into.
CLICK HERE to read the free guide to using no contact to get him back
Here's how you can STOP looking at your phone after a breakup and get him back once you've regained your mental equilibrium:
1. Get rid of the phone.
Out of sight, out of mind. Put your phone somewhere else. Hide it somewhere you won't be tempted to see it. When you ARE tempted to go find it, distract yourself.
Better yet, give your phone to a friend and let them keep it for a while.
If you need your phone for work or something, simply tell your employer you canceled your cell phone plan for a while. Have them contact you by email instead.
The key is - get your method of contact with your ex OUT of your mind. Removing temptation is the easiest way to resist it.
2. Call a friend.
Get a friend to come over and distract you. Ask her to hang out. Go somewhere fun - shopping, for example. Do something that will get your mind off your breakup.
Hanging out with a friend is a great way to boost your mood as well. The positive energy from another person will get you into a good state of mind, and out of the desperate post-breakup haze.
It will also prevent depression and heartbreak which naturally follow a breakup.
3. Get out of the house.
One of the worst things you can do after a breakup - and one that will most easily lead you down the road to more fighting with your ex - is to be stuck around the house.
Make a list of your favorite activities, and then get involved in them! Bonus points for committing to a social activity that you can't back out of.
Even more bonus points if you pick a physical activity like running, biking, or playing your favorite sports. Even a game of frisbee can get your mind off the pain of a breakup.
Physical activity also boosts feel good chemicals in the brain called endorphins. These will make you feel better - and make it easier to deal with the breakup.
So there are plenty of ways to remove the temptation of checking your phone to see if your ex has called or left a message. You really don't want to do that - especially when you're trying to get him back after a breakup.
The last thing you want to do in that situation is to tell him that you're desperate by constantly checking your phone - and then immediately responding when he DOES contact you. The key is to take back power in the relationship and get your mind off the pain.
CLICK HERE to read the free guide to using no contact to get him back
CLICK HERE to read the free guide to using no contact to get him back
Here's how you can STOP looking at your phone after a breakup and get him back once you've regained your mental equilibrium:
1. Get rid of the phone.
Out of sight, out of mind. Put your phone somewhere else. Hide it somewhere you won't be tempted to see it. When you ARE tempted to go find it, distract yourself.
Better yet, give your phone to a friend and let them keep it for a while.
If you need your phone for work or something, simply tell your employer you canceled your cell phone plan for a while. Have them contact you by email instead.
The key is - get your method of contact with your ex OUT of your mind. Removing temptation is the easiest way to resist it.
2. Call a friend.
Get a friend to come over and distract you. Ask her to hang out. Go somewhere fun - shopping, for example. Do something that will get your mind off your breakup.
Hanging out with a friend is a great way to boost your mood as well. The positive energy from another person will get you into a good state of mind, and out of the desperate post-breakup haze.
It will also prevent depression and heartbreak which naturally follow a breakup.
3. Get out of the house.
One of the worst things you can do after a breakup - and one that will most easily lead you down the road to more fighting with your ex - is to be stuck around the house.
Make a list of your favorite activities, and then get involved in them! Bonus points for committing to a social activity that you can't back out of.
Even more bonus points if you pick a physical activity like running, biking, or playing your favorite sports. Even a game of frisbee can get your mind off the pain of a breakup.
Physical activity also boosts feel good chemicals in the brain called endorphins. These will make you feel better - and make it easier to deal with the breakup.
So there are plenty of ways to remove the temptation of checking your phone to see if your ex has called or left a message. You really don't want to do that - especially when you're trying to get him back after a breakup.
The last thing you want to do in that situation is to tell him that you're desperate by constantly checking your phone - and then immediately responding when he DOES contact you. The key is to take back power in the relationship and get your mind off the pain.
CLICK HERE to read the free guide to using no contact to get him back
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