It is better to avoid rebounds if you can.
(When I say rebound relationship, I mean getting seriously involved with someone who isn't your ex. Casually spending time together or non-serious dates - as long as the other person knows what they are - are okay.)
What is a rebound relationship? Basically this right after you've broken up with someone, you haven't even taken time to assess what went wrong, haven't had time to heal, etc.
What is a rebound relationship? Basically this right after you've broken up with someone, you haven't even taken time to assess what went wrong, haven't had time to heal, etc.
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But right away you're ready to jump into a new relationship with another person. You might even marry that person. Bad, bad idea. Why? Because you have never even dealt with the initial relationship. You are just moving on to someone else.
And I can guarantee you that no matter what, or at least in about 99% of circumstances, you are going to move on to the EXACT same type of person, the EXACT same type of problems, in most cases.
Either that or you will just move on to someone who is just so not right, you know it, it's so not a good thing.
But all your feelings of loneliness and depression, you don't acknowledge them. And those are the real problem.
That is why about 99% of rebound relationships do not work. And so what happens is that you get two failed relationships, once the rebound doesn't work, and then you have to deal with that. So it's like a double dose of awfulness in your life. Do you really want that?
It just compounds the pain of the breakup twice over.
So ultimately it's better just to deal with the breakup, and then when you're over the situation, you can start dating again.
How can you do this? Easy, go no contact for 30 days or more. Just cease talking to your ex, stop thinking about them, get them out of your head. If you aren't thinking about them you aren't going to stress about them.
Just distract yourself. But NOT with a rebound relationship.
Get rid of all your ex's books and CDs and things you have lying around that remind you of them. Pictures, clothing, anything you have that reminds you of that person that is in your apartment or your home.
Pack them away for now. Maybe you don't have to do it forever. Just get rid of them for now. Out of sight, out of mind. You will get over them much more easily if they're not in your mind.
It doesn't mean you need to cut them out of every photograph and set it on fire in the backyard. Just get the reminders of them gone from your immediate consciousness.
But right away you're ready to jump into a new relationship with another person. You might even marry that person. Bad, bad idea. Why? Because you have never even dealt with the initial relationship. You are just moving on to someone else.
And I can guarantee you that no matter what, or at least in about 99% of circumstances, you are going to move on to the EXACT same type of person, the EXACT same type of problems, in most cases.
Either that or you will just move on to someone who is just so not right, you know it, it's so not a good thing.
But all your feelings of loneliness and depression, you don't acknowledge them. And those are the real problem.
That is why about 99% of rebound relationships do not work. And so what happens is that you get two failed relationships, once the rebound doesn't work, and then you have to deal with that. So it's like a double dose of awfulness in your life. Do you really want that?
It just compounds the pain of the breakup twice over.
So ultimately it's better just to deal with the breakup, and then when you're over the situation, you can start dating again.
How can you do this? Easy, go no contact for 30 days or more. Just cease talking to your ex, stop thinking about them, get them out of your head. If you aren't thinking about them you aren't going to stress about them.
Just distract yourself. But NOT with a rebound relationship.
Get rid of all your ex's books and CDs and things you have lying around that remind you of them. Pictures, clothing, anything you have that reminds you of that person that is in your apartment or your home.
Pack them away for now. Maybe you don't have to do it forever. Just get rid of them for now. Out of sight, out of mind. You will get over them much more easily if they're not in your mind.
It doesn't mean you need to cut them out of every photograph and set it on fire in the backyard. Just get the reminders of them gone from your immediate consciousness.
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