John Alexander Alpha Male PDF

John Alexander Alpha Male PDF - for those interested in the book, here's a quick rundown of what's in it.

How Do I Know He Is Cheating On Me

How do I know he is cheating on me? This is probably one of the most stressful questions to have to ask in a marriage. If you suspect your husband of cheating, then you've probably got some legitimate concerns that need to be addressed.

First off, is he spending time with other people - or women?

If so, you have a legitimate right to know what's going on with him. He cannot be seeing or spending time with other women without telling you why. This is a violation of rights within a marriage. Any agreement that is monogamous within two people automatically assumes that each partner must completely divulge his or her activities with other people.

Sorry if that got a little technical. The bottom line is: he needs to tell you who he's spending time with, either online, or out in the real world. If he doesn't, you have reason to suspect him of cheating.

What to do when your husband is cheating

Secondly, does he seem more distant from you emotionally?

If he does, you've got more reason to wonder what's up with his romantic life. You can't really know if he's cheating on you for sure by spying on him or anything like that, and really, that just adds fuel to the fire.

When you suspect him of cheating because he's emotionally distant you need to:

1. Question him about his activities. If he acts suspicious or dodgy, you know something else is going on.

2. If he refuses to answer you, there's a bigger problem in your marriage: lack of communication.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, if you think your husband is cheating on your, or you suspect he's being unfaithful in any way, this indicates a problem in your marriage. Whether he is or isn't, there is a problem.

Clearly, you feel a need isn't being met. He's not giving you enough attention/appreciation. He's not trusting you, and not spending enough time with you.

He may feel you are some way not meeting his needs either. So the two of you need to talk. Get your feelings out in the open. One way or another, avoiding the problem won't help; you need to actually get together and speak in a quiet, non-confrontational way.

Leave your emotions at the door and set aside a quiet time to speak about what's going on in each other's lives.

Want to learn more about getting your husband back if you suspect him of cheating?

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How the No Contact Rule Works

You'll often hear about the no contact rule when you go online to research means of getting your ex-girlfriend back after a breakup. So what is it? Is it effective? And doesn't going no contact mean your ex will forget you?

That's the wrong kind of thinking, but unfortunately, the kind of thinking many of us go through after a breakup. Here's why the no contact rule works, and how you can use it to get your ex back post-breakup.

What no contact is

No contact is essentially taking a period of time where you don't talk to your ex, or have very minimal contact with her. During this time you're focusing more on yourself than anything; you've now got a chance to:

1. Get a logical, rational perspective about your breakup.

2. Realize it's not the end of the world even though you're broken up.

3. Allow yourself to calm your mind and breathe again.

4. Get your life back.

No contact also allows your ex to do all the same, which is beneficial to her. So it works both way.

Why the no contact rule works

The no contact rule works because it allows you to approach your ex again later, in a more rational frame of mind.

But perhaps the most effective reason for no contact is:

It lets you get out of DESPERATION MODE.

After a breakup, we go into what I call "desperation mode" where we start texting and calling our ex nonstop, or trying to talk to them on IM - whatever means you use. And we try to figure out why they broke up with us.

This backfires. The ex thinks, "oh man, he's so desperate. I'll just cut him off completely; I don't want to deal with this."

So when you're tempted to do this, it's MUCH wiser to go no contact because you AVOID desperation mode, and thereby avoid driving your ex away.

How to implement no contact

To use no contact, first:

-Get a calendar.

Mark off the days you'll have no or low contact with your ex. (Low contact means saying hi, but not going much beyond that.)

30 days is a good time period to shoot for. It will give you plenty of time to get out of desperation mode and back into a rational, calm frame of mind.

-Mark off the day you will re-initiate contact.

Set the date 30 days from now, or whenever you choose, to re-initiate contact with your ex. Now, it's important that you DON'T contact your ex before you have regained a rational state of mind. So allow yourself as much time as you need; better to overcompensate.

-Make a plan for what you'll say.

Now, you don't want this first contact to be, "let's meet up and talk about our relationship for 3 hours." Instead you simply want to be SEEN by your ex so they realize you are again the rational, calm, attractive, happy person she fell in love with.

So make it a light note, something like, "Hey, how's it going." You definitely want to keep the conversation neutral; avoid your breakup as a topic of conversation. Good topics include the weather, current events, and simple, easygoing topics. Avoid talking about any current romances in either of your lives as well.

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Why She Cheated On You - And How You Can Get Her Back

If you've found that your ex-girlfriend cheated on you, it wasn't because you did something wrong. It's also not because the other guy was in some way better than you.

It's a very simple reason: she didn't feel appreciated.

Women want nothing more than to feel like you really love what they do for you. When she calls you at work to hear your voice, for example - she's trying to be reaffirmed in the fact that you love her.

Women need to feel appreciated and loved. If they don't, they'll find another man who makes them feel this way.

Trust me on this: it's basic human psychology. In fact, it's one of the key differences between men and women. Men want to be admired; women like to be appreciated.

So the reason she cheated on you is simple: the other guy made her feel appreciated. He listened to her (probably her complaining about you!) and that made her feel better.

Each situation is different, but the chances are, the guy she cheated with wasn't someone she just "fell in love with" right away.

It's more probable that the other guy fed her need for appreciation that she was not receiving from you.

However, you have an ace up your sleeve, which is your relationship with her.

You are already familiar with her, have a history with her, and have built a grounded relationship which has not (even if you might think so) been destroyed beyond repair.

She is familiar with you. She does love you, even if all her behavior points to the contrary. The problem is not with you, or with her, but simply with the communication between the two of you.

When you initiate the steps to make her feel appreciated she will not feel the need to find other men outside your relationship. Simply, you will be enough for her, when you make the effort to fix your relationship troubles and make her feel appreciated.

If you feel like you've already screwed things up with your ex beyond redemption, don't worry. You haven't. In many cases, breakups are just caused by a lack of communication - as I mentioned above.

So shift your mind away from everything that went wrong in your relationship and start to let yourself heal and breathe. Put the bad memories out of your mind. Feel - really feel - the pain of the breakup, and then let it go.

Once you have started to do this, and heal the old wounds, you can fully devote your attention to repairing your relationship with your ex-girlfriend completely.

One Basic Thing That Will Help You Feel Better After a Breakup

I know it sucks big time right after a breakup. I have been there. In fact, I'm there right now, and it definitely sucks.

The sleepless nights, the depression, the need to drink, overeat, and numb your pain with stuff like music and video games.

I've learned to deal with it better through the use of exercise, but sometimes you can't bring yourself to just run out the door and start jogging 20 miles. Yep - I know.

So when you've just gone through a breakup and you need a way to immediately feel better, try this:

1. Find a quiet place to sit.
2. Tune out as many outside distractions as you can.
3. Concentrate on one object in front of you - say, a lamp.
4. Focus on the texture of the object you're looking at. Put all your conscious thought into looking at that one object.

As you do this object focus exercise, I want you to take deep breaths as well. Slowly in, then out.

When the negative thoughts try to come racing into your mind again, don't let them surface. Instead, picture them in a little box or bubble in your mind - and then let go, slowly, of this image, in your mind.

Picture it getting smaller and smaller.

Until finally, it just pops, and is gone.

Using this little method is a great way to get your thoughts focused after a breakup, when your head is swimming with all the negative stuff after your ex-girlfriend (or boyfriend) has left you.

Getting refocused is the starting point to post-breakup recovery, and if you keep trying this technique for a little bit, you'll eventually be able to use it every time you feel bad - even after things that aren't breakup-related.

But the main thing is that you feel better, and that's what I want for you. So try out this technique if you can, when you're feeling really crappy after a breakup. I think it might help. :)

Learn more about feeling better after a breakup

A Key Part of Keeping Your Ex Girlfriend Once You Get Her Back

The process to get your ex girlfriend back from another guy is extremely important, but once you hook her interest again, the work isn't over. You are going to have to retrain your thinking about relationships and women in general, a little bit, in order to keep your relationship with the girl in a better place.

One thing that leads to stale, boring relationships (and in many cases, your girlfriend heading off to find someone new) is the human doormat principle. I know, because I've played this role plenty of times and until I learned just what I was doing wrong, I could not keep a girlfriend to save my life.

Girls do not want a MEAN guy, but they want a guy who will stand up for himself. And don't confuse standing up for yourself with being mean, because they're different. Standing up for yourself is something that springs out of self-respect and confidence (two extremely attractive attributes). Meanness is something that occurs out of fear and anger (two unattractive attributes).

So out of fear that we will be MEAN, we consequently let the girl make all the decisions and just agree with everything she says and does. She wants to go to a restaurant? We let her decide which one to go to and don't express our own opinion because we're afraid to piss her off. She isn't in the mood tonight? That's fine; we don't want to express the dissatisfaction of not having a sexual relationship because we'll start a fight, and she will leave.

Well, I'm here to tell you that you need to start expressing your wants and needs in the relationship NOW. This is what your ex girlfriend will respect you for. You need to start making some decisions. You pick where to eat, then tell her where you're going and she'll come along. You decide what you do with your time, and when you have sex. This confidence and authority will not drive her away – it will excite her! Consequently you will both be happier when you get back together.

However, there is a specific process to get back your ex girlfriend when she has left you for another guy, and one that in many cases is extremely successful. Of course every situation is different, but nine times out of ten, if you simply follow the correct process by initiating contact, and saying the right words, you will be able to get your ex girlfriend back even if she is with some other guy.

Learn how to get your ex girlfriend back from another guy.